Baby Berto

When you become a parent, you live almost perpetually in fear of something horrible happening. To hear the scared or hurt cries of your child is almost unbearable. The first time I saw Kylah bleed from an injury I felt the tears well up.

So to face something that might have a permanent effect on Kylah was something that Kelci and I definitely struggled with. We learned a couple of months ago that Kylah has something called alopecia areata. Alopecia is an autoimmune disease that causes the body’s immune system to attach the hair follicles, causing the hair to fall out. And with today’s news that a genetic marker for Alopecia Areata has been discovered, it seems like a great opportunity to tell our story.

Somebody called this the world's most adorable mug shot. I agree.

One evening, I went to tussle her hair and I came away with a whole curl in my hand and discovered a round bald spot. Several days later, it happened again and we had her to a dermatologist the following afternoon. To not visibly react when the second bit was in my hand was one of the more difficult acting jobs of my life.

Kylah’s version is localized to two round patches on one side of her head and there’s no danger to her. Hair loss is the only symptom and she’s perfectly healthy and happy and there’s no long-term concerns.

Aside from losing her hair.

The great unknown

One of the challenges of alopecia is that you don’t know. The hair she lost might grow back. It might not. More hair might fall out. More hair might fall out or this might never be an issue for the rest of her life. We know that life as a girl is already a challenge and to grow up with bald patches or even totally bald is a challenge we just don’t want for Kylah.

I know it’s a bit selfish. In the scheme of things, there are far worse challenges we could be facing. But dammit (I can’t say that word out loud), I want my daughter to have an easy life and Kelci and I are doing our best to give that to her.

So far, we are optimistic. There’s no reason to expect that her hair won’t regrow those amazing curls that she has. In fact, it has grown back a lot, but we’ve recently found a new patch. One thing is for certain though, as she gets older, she’ll know what it means to be beautiful and that beauty is not what the mirror shows you, it’s what you project into the world. She’s going to be amazing and a little hair loss won’t stop her.

She buried me under blankets. It was awesome.

It surely hasn’t stopped me!

If you had asked me two and a half months ago if I wanted another kid, my answer would have been somewhere between “Hell no” and “You’re absolutely crazy.”

But then something changed. I wanted a little boy. And, with any luck, our next one will be just that. That’s right, we’re announcing Baby Berto 2.0!!! According to our calculations, it will be due on Christmas Eve! Talk about a fun Christmas present.

Kylah is pretty excited to be a big sister.

A change of heart

It’s hard to explain what’s changed. I love Kylah beyond words. She’s become my (almost) everything. I love making her pancakes and helping her grow into a smart, confident child. But as Kelci has continued to drive home, two is better than one. I wavered and at times doubted that what I had agreed to was the right move.

But now that the reality of my upcoming Christmas present had set in, I am near tears writing this I am so excited.

I see the strong bonds that my cousin’s children have with each other and I want that for Kylah. I see how she has interacted with the newborns that some of our friends have recently had and I know she’s going to be an amazing big sister. I see the happiness on Kelci’s face when we talk about the room and all of the myriad details about Thing 2 as we’ve taken to calling it.

She tells us she wants a little brother.

Disclosing the news

Being in public relations, not telling people for a few weeks has been insanely difficult. I tell people news for a living and one of the biggest pieces of news in my life I haven’t been able to share yet. But here we are.

We even took a couple of weeks to tell Kylah what’s happening. We quite honestly didn’t want an episode of honest toddler happening when we weren’t ready to tell people! I told Kelci that I wanted her to surprise me with the confirmation as she had a “feeling” that she was pregnant.

So, when I came home from a work function just with enough time to read Kylah a bed time story, Kelci gave her a new book to read. I was talking to Kelci and didn’t notice the title:

“I’m going to be a big sister.”

I was surprised. And I cried asking her repeatedly “are you kidding me?” But this was no joke. Just the surprise I had asked for.

That’s the update for now. Kelci has her first appointment soon and the morning sickness that ravaged Kelci the first time has reappeared. We were hoping to avoid some of the challenges of last time. For now, she has been amazing. Kelci has been completely drained and the morning sickness is back with a vengeance.

We will of course share what we can when we can. Thank you all for following this family’s journey. It has been a lot of fun and I think that the stork will be riding on Santa’s sleigh this year.

I really do hope Santa brings me a boy!

OK, so it’s only one-day-per-week preschool, but today Kelci and I faced the reality of having a toddler that is now in preschool. Today we drug Kylah out of bed and got her dressed and put on her brand-new owl backpack and took her to her first day of preschool.

We really wanted her to experience other people, other authority figures and other friends. Kelci and I are super proud of Kylah and all that she has learned and all of the skills she had (ask her to count in Spanish…) and we both felt that even though she’s only 2 1/2, preschool was a good next step. She’ll  get some great lessons in structure and following direction that we think she needs too. Her usual care situation is awesome, but she doesn’t get the benefit of large-group settings.

There were tears, although I am pretty sure it was just Kylah that shed them. We’re sure they only lasted about 2 minutes, but this type of new transition is hard. New routine, new people and such can be scary, but she’s brave and adapts well to new situations, which is part of why we felt she was ready for this.

And of course there’s pictures

One of the joys of potty training a toddler is getting to take them out to restrooms in public places that under normal circumstances one would take great pains to avoid.

Over the course of potty training Kylah, we’ve had several near misses including countless coffee shops, Pike Place Market and several dodgy restaurants. I have perfected the artform of dangling her over the toilet while she does her work. Side note: That’s a very awkward scenario, being eye to eye with your kid as she takes a poop while you hold her in the air.

I’ve had to readjust what I consider “disgusting” countless times as a parent. But I didn’t think it would be public restrooms that would be continuously shifting my perspective. Seriously, what is it about people that feel it is acceptable to do such things in public places? And, if it’s a restroom with multiple stalls, taking a toddler with no filter in is terrifying to me as a responsible adult, yet hilarious to my inner 13 year old. Her giggles when somebody else farts are contagious.

She’ll also call you out for not washing your hands too, so be careful.

But we had an experience the other night I didn’t expect, but also couldn’t believe hadn’t happened already. I took her into the men’s room and she decided that on this instance, she wanted nothing more than to sit in the urinal. You can’t negotiate with toddlers, nor are they renowned for their keen since of rationalization. Having to explain to her that those were not for her only upset her. So, now she’s crying, has to pee and wants to sit in the urinal.

I might let her next time.