Girls are scary

We’re having a girl. In about five months, Kelci and I will have a little baby girl. And that scares the living hell out of me.

I’m afraid of boys. I’m afraid of periods and training bras and malls and most things girly. But that’s normal I suppose. I’m afraid about how she’ll grow up. You see, I’m not what you call normal. I’m 6’8 and decidedly not thin.

I’m afraid that I’m bringing a daughter into a world of skinny models, skinny jeans and skinny lattés.

I guess I’m just a big softy and over protective, but that’s just who I am. So I’m scared. I’ve already started to hear the comments about maybe she’ll be in the WNBA or maybe she’ll play for the Seahawks and while it doesn’t “bother” me, it makes me thing about how I’m going to talk to her once she’s asking me why the kids at school are calling her names.

This is a lesson I need to learn I guess. What should I say to a daughter that asks those questions?

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  • bill

    @billdrews here…I'm 6'4″ wife's 5'10″, so tall's in the genes here also. Over-protective is good! Build her self-confidence up (I got a 9 yr old), love her, protect her, cuddle her…then make sure you teach her to kick hard and aim for the “jewels”!

    Best…

  • http://queenofspainblog.com/ Erin

    Deep breath.

    I about died and fell over when we found out we were having a girl too. The pressure is different. The concerns are different. The fear, as a woman, was still very much what you are thinking right now…despite you being the Dad.

    You already know it. You already see it. You are already aware…which means she already has one hell of a head start and awesome father.

    It will be ok. And you will guide her. Despite everything I tell and show my daughter she still cares about Princess dresses and how she looks. Despite it all, she also still knows in her heart what matters too.

    With a Dad and Mom like you two though… she'll be just fine.

    Oh, and sign her up for BlogHer now… ;)

  • http://thegeekgiant.com geekgiant

    Thanks Erin. Having guidance from people like you will make this a lot easier. I'm pretty lucky to have a kick ass partner in this adventure as well. Wish us luck…

  • http://thegeekgiant.com geekgiant

    LOL, thanks Bill. I have a lot to learn, so I appreciate your thoughts here. I know she'll be fine, but I also know that if she gets my genes it will be a bit difficult.

  • http://elisamaser.com/ elisapiper

    Dear dad to be: Since you're asking, I'm sure you'll be fine.

    Let me just say … try not to be TOO over-protective. My parents were from the benign neglect mode … we had to figure stuff out ourselves, which we did … and in turn, it made us self-reliant.

    Also – did an informal survey of successful women in my town. Without exception, they all had school experiences where they had to get up and perform in some way. Everything from drama and cheer leading to basketball and track. Anything where she's mastering a skill and getting coaching from other adults is good.

    And when they're babies … you can't love them too much. You'll love everything about being a dad, even the parts you hate. That's how it is.

  • http://thegeekgiant.com geekgiant

    Hi Elise, Thanks for offering your thoughts. I tend to skew toward the over-emotional side, so making sure I keep that in check will be really important. As will helping to guide decisions instead of order them. Keep offering your advice, I need it all ;)

  • Meghan

    Hey Daddy!
    Being afraid is natural.. we only want the best for our children and knowing what the world is capable of, would scare any new parent! As far as kids and name calling go.. children can be cruel. That is nature and nothing you as a parent can do. That being said, look at my kid.. she wanted to wrestle in 7th grade. There were like 2 girls wrestlers who got made fun of repeatedly. I could only imagine what names she was going to be called. BUT she went out there had a great time, made some pins ( on boys ) and generally kicked ass! I am so proud of her. She didn't let convention stop her. She has amazing self confidence ( and isn't cocky ) that I wish I could take credit for! She also found some friends that had some similar interests as her. I think that helps (friends). As parents I think all you can do is be there for your children. You think of all that can go wrong, what mean could be said, or the hurt that your child will endure. It is the absolute hardest thing, but the most rewarding. Children will never cease to amaze me. I know that my hasn't.
    Much love!

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