Disciplining a toddler

Kylah reared back and with a swift flick of the wrist slapped me across the face.

Kylah disappeared around the corner to the laundry room and when I found her, she had nearly emptied the dog’s food into his water.

Kylah shook her head and hit the spoon out of Kelci’s hand, flying spaghetti allover the place.

Yeah, having a toddler is amazing. But it can also be frustrating and trying and challenging. So what do you do about a young toddler that doesn’t quite get “traditional” discipline? That has been our latest challenge and learning to manage those frustrating moments has been a hard lesson for all of us.

Stern and consistent

The hitting is the most serious of the offenses right now. I bristle when she flails her sippy cup toward the dog and it’s hard to watch her take a swipe at Kelci. We’ve read a lot of different opinions about how to manage what appears to be a common phase that toddlers go through.

Neither of us are in a hurry to start hitting back and she’s simply to young to fully understand the implications of a raised voice or a harsh yell. And forget folding your arms and delivering a stern look. Our little sponge quickly mirrored that causing me to laugh hysterically.

Our method of choice depends on the offense. For hitting, we grab her hands, tell her no thank you and then instruct her to be gentle and showing her what a gentle touch is. Stern voice, but not yelling and careful to not cause harm to her. Consistently reminding her what is OK and what is not.

For other infractions we have chosen to distract rather than punish. A timeout or other scolding wouldn’t work for our little busybody. Redirecting her and telling her what she was doing is not OK seems to be the best we can do. Her trips to the dog bowls have definitely decreased.

As she grows, our strategy will shift. Our methods will change and we’ll all learn how to be happy and not in trouble. But the best advice we can give and the best advice we have been given is be consistent.

And to show you we’re not mean parents, here’s some shots of our little trouble maker… 

 

 

Give them a hug

Just a reminder to grab somebody you love and give them a hug like you actually mean it.

I was talking with a friend about a neighbor of hers who has three kids. A wife. And brain cancer… He is on hospice care and is no longer capable of walking, talking, kissing or hugging. So grab somebody nearby and give them a hug.

There’s a couple of things that I haven’t talked about publicly and that list is about to get a little bit shorter. I know full well what those children are about to go through. When I was four, my dad and his brother died in a plane crash. I remember that day all too vividly. I’ll spare the details here, but the point is, I know what those kids are about to go through and I really don’t want anybody to go through that.

I’m not trying to be a downer… But Kylah’s about to turn one soon and being there for her is the most important thing I can do. So grab somebody you love and hug them like you mean it.

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Happy birthday to my incredibly hot wife :-)

I just want to say happy birthday to Kelci. The best mom. The best wife. My best friend.

OK, I don’t want to just say happy birthday. But today is her 30th birthday and I thought I’d embarrass the both of us with a little note to here on the blog.

Kelci and I have been together nearly 10 years after meeting in Hawaii during our first year of college (that’s a story for another post, but ask me and I’ll tell you). Over the last decade, we have traveled a path that has taken us through losing jobs, losing close relatives, gaining new friends, gaining a new home and now gaining our wonderful daughter.

One thing that I can count on in my life, however, is Kelci. She is there for me when I need a shoulder or when I simply need her on my shoulder. She is there for me when I am being a hyperactive ADD wild-child. She is there for me when I look down at Kylah and then give Kelci a “what the hell do I do now?” look.

There’s no point to this other than to share how extremely thankful I am to have her in my life.

As her and I have gotten older (I am definitely not maturing, so I don’t thing aging is the right word), I have become more and more thankful that I have her in my life. She has helped shape me and helped me become who I am.

When we were dating and getting more and more serious, we started to describe our relationship as a walk down an unknown path. For the most part, it is an easy, flat and straight walk that is surrounded by beauty. On occasion there is a bend in the road, or the scenery isn’t quite as gorgeous as you hoped. Our path has had curves, hills and a few trees that have fallen across it.

But we have continued to navigate it. We have guided each other down this path. We are a perfect team. And that’s why I want everybody to say with me:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELCI!!!

1.1.11 (A Reflection on 2010)

Holiday Cheer

The holiday season was filled with joy and love with family and friends. Kylah was able to spend Christmas with close family, including her aunts: Eric’s 3 younger sisters from California, whose Christmas present was to fly up and meet their new niece! Kylah’s only Christmas present from mommy and daddy was her “1st Christmas” ornament. Many people asked me what we were getting her for Christmas, and my response was always “Diapers, of course!” Babies don’t really need anything besides love and attention. One of my coworkers told me the one thing she regretted about the way she raised her daughter: She should have spent more money on experiences and less money on “stuff,” because it’s the experiences your children have that have the most meaning. (Thanks, Tami:)

2010

In her short life thus far, Kylah has celebrated many firsts: Her first smile, her first laugh, her first roll-over, her first plane ride, her first vacation, her first Thanksgiving, her first Christmas and now her first new year. There will be many more firsts coming soon: sitting up, eating and crawling. Before we realize it, we are going to have to baby-proof the house! It’s difficult to comprehend how much has happened in the last year. I spent a majority of 2010 pregnant (and miserable) with baby Kylah until we were blessed by her healthy arrival in August. She has been the light of our lives and the center of our world from minute one. She has changed our perspectives and our priorities. She has made me a better person.

Welcome 2011

Another day and another year. Kylah will be walking and talking by next Christmas. Mommy will be continuing her weight-loss journey and hopes to complete a half-marathon in June. Daddy will be continue to be an awesome husband and playmate to baby Kylah. Chubbs will learn to share his toys with Kylah. We are hoping to take a family vacation to Mexico, it’s time to get Kylah a passport already!

2010 in Pictures

A year already

Exactly one year ago I sat down to write my first post on babyberto.com. It’s been 12 months and two weeks since Kelci and I found out that our lives had changed forever. And boy has it…

This has been an amazing year. Kelci and I have been blessed with an amazing little girl that is perfect in every way. She has made our lives infinitely better by being happy, calm, healthy and just generally amazing. There’s no feeling that can replace how I feel when I come home from work at night and am greeted by her one-dimpled smile.

I have a house full of family this holiday season. And that family is mine. I am super thankful for everything she has given me. Truly the best gift ever.

Kylah has a special note that she will post on Saturday, but for now, I want to share her little visit to see Santa Claus.

Kylah and Santa Claus

Kylah got to meet Santa Claus. He brought us an amazing little gift.