Kylah disappeared around the corner to the laundry room and when I found her, she had nearly emptied the dog’s food into his water.

Kylah shook her head and hit the spoon out of Kelci’s hand, flying spaghetti allover the place.

Yeah, having a toddler is amazing. But it can also be frustrating and trying and challenging. So what do you do about a young toddler that doesn’t quite get “traditional” discipline? That has been our latest challenge and learning to manage those frustrating moments has been a hard lesson for all of us.

Stern and consistent

The hitting is the most serious of the offenses right now. I bristle when she flails her sippy cup toward the dog and it’s hard to watch her take a swipe at Kelci. We’ve read a lot of different opinions about how to manage what appears to be a common phase that toddlers go through.

Neither of us are in a hurry to start hitting back and she’s simply to young to fully understand the implications of a raised voice or a harsh yell. And forget folding your arms and delivering a stern look. Our little sponge quickly mirrored that causing me to laugh hysterically.

Our method of choice depends on the offense. For hitting, we grab her hands, tell her no thank you and then instruct her to be gentle and showing her what a gentle touch is. Stern voice, but not yelling and careful to not cause harm to her. Consistently reminding her what is OK and what is not.

For other infractions we have chosen to distract rather than punish. A timeout or other scolding wouldn’t work for our little busybody. Redirecting her and telling her what she was doing is not OK seems to be the best we can do. Her trips to the dog bowls have definitely decreased.

As she grows, our strategy will shift. Our methods will change and we’ll all learn how to be happy and not in trouble. But the best advice we can give and the best advice we have been given is be consistent.

And to show you we’re not mean parents, here’s some shots of our little trouble maker… 

But this new-found affection also has come with one other thing: Attitude. Shaking the head no, hitting and, my personal favorite, mirroring me and crossing her arms and giving me the same stern look I was giving her when she got caught pouring dog food into the dog’s water.

I like baby hugs better than I like baby mockery.

So, it’s now time to figure out “discipline.” Such a scary word. I’ll probably explore our discipline strategies in a different post, but Kelci and I both agree that the core is going to be consistency. And lots of baby hugs…

Oh and in case you haven’t seen it, Kylah made a video for everybody to see:

I have been working remotely for the last several weeks and that occasionally brings me to a global coffee chain for free wifi and free drip coffee refills and this morning was no exception. I anticipate seeing a higher-than-average number of high-maintenance people and suburban stereotypes, but I wasn’t ready for this.

As I approached, I noticed that there was a new (surprise #1) SUV (surprise #2) illegally and poorly parked in a handicap spot (surprise #3). But it was surprise #4 that had me in disbelief.

The toddler strapped into the car seat in the back seat with the windows up. By herself. As I peered into the windows hoping there was another adult or older sibling in there I was dumbfounded. I mean, I’ve left Kylah in her seat in my truck while I run back into the house for a moment. But this lady had left her toddler in the car while she went in to fetch her drink. I stood there and turned to open the door to tell the manager what I had seen. I held the door for a woman on her way out and sure enough she got into this SUV.

A stern look and a loud, incredulous “unbelievable” as I shook my head and watched her get into her car. What was she thinking? How could she do that to her child? No sooner had I sat down and logged on, the woman walked in, carrying her toddler this time.

She tried to explain her hurried action. Her sick child. Her messed up order at the drive through. But I didn’t want to hear it. I wouldn’t do what she did. I couldn’t leave my daughter alone in the car like that. Under those circumstances. “I was only in here for 30 seconds” she pleaded.

That’s all it takes…

I don’t support this person’s action at all. I can’t. But am I a hypocrite because I’ve run into the house while Kylah is in her seat? Why was this so much worse to me?

Our adventure this week found us attempting to eliminate the pacifier from her sleep-time routine. So, we decided to go cold turkey with it and simply quit giving it to her. The first night, we were prepared for epic battle, ready for the tantrum; we were expecting the worst.

Five minutes later she was asleep.

Nights two and three have been mirror images of the first. The point of this is not (entirely) to gloat. My point is that I think a lot of our success comes from the attitude that Kelci and I have toward parenting.

Just relax

Kelci and I stress more about doing this right or wrong or making the right decisions about Kylah’s upbringing. We read our books and try to feed her well and brush her teeth and generally do good. And that enables us to relax. We know we’re making the right decision and that enables us to relax, which I think is one of the reasons that Kylah is so easy going and adaptive to change.

We’ve been transitioning her to “people” food as well. As her independent streak has grown, she’s begun eating the same stuff we eat. It’s kind of a trip to make myself scrambled eggs in the morning and have to share with her. It’s also kind of fun to give her new foods and watch her eyes get huge when she realizes that watermelon is, indeed, delicious. Just relax and it will all be OK.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to put these last 12 months into words. I just can’t. I think of her smiles. Our smiles. Her tears. Our tears. Her cries. Our cries. Her victories. Our victories. There are no words to capture what her presence in our lives has meant. I think I’m going to let pictures tell their thousand words.

I love you Kylah.

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

I was talking with a friend about a neighbor of hers who has three kids. A wife. And brain cancer… He is on hospice care and is no longer capable of walking, talking, kissing or hugging. So grab somebody nearby and give them a hug.

There’s a couple of things that I haven’t talked about publicly and that list is about to get a little bit shorter. I know full well what those children are about to go through. When I was four, my dad and his brother died in a plane crash. I remember that day all too vividly. I’ll spare the details here, but the point is, I know what those kids are about to go through and I really don’t want anybody to go through that.

I’m not trying to be a downer… But Kylah’s about to turn one soon and being there for her is the most important thing I can do. So grab somebody you love and hug them like you mean it.

Aside from your generosity, I appreciate that I have surrounded myself with people willing to take time out of their lives to celebrate with me and contribute to this cause.

Surprisingly, turning 30 was really no big deal. I had a much harder time mentally with turning 20. Moving out of my teen years and into my 20s meant being an adult; no longer having an excuse to act my age. It was the year that I got really serious about journalism school and it was the year I was no longer a teenager.

But turning 30 was different. Kelci and I have been married for nearly six years, we’ve been in our house for almost three years. And now we have Kylah, who has already been working her way toward turning one. So, for now I concentrate on career and family and building both up in a way that brings me nothing but joy. After all, if you can’t find happiness in an action, why do it?

So thank you everybody for helping make this the best birthday in a while!

• Teeth? Check
• Solid food? Check
• Pulling herself up to standing? Check
• Crawling? Check
• Pat-a-Cake? Check. Complete with throwing it in the pan? Check

But something else is about to happen. I’m about to turn 30. As the date nears, my family have been asking what I want. What sort of material good will make me happy? Realistically, that list is really long. But before I answer with that really expensive fishing trip or new hiking boots, I generally pause and realize:

I have everything I need.

I have a great wife, a great job, a great daughter and a great life in general. So, what I want is to help other people have a great life.

I am throwing a party this weekend, June 11 at Big Al’s Brewing, which is just south of Seattle and I want you all to join me. But I don’t want you to show up empty handed. I’ve talked it over with Kelci and run the idea by a few other people and have decided that I want to collect baby supplies and goods for a local women’s shelter. Specifically, we’re looking for:

• Formula
• Diapers/wipes (Size 4, 5 or 6 diapers)
• New or next-to-new toys
• New or next-to-new clothes

I can’t offer anything in reply, other than a hug and a thank you, but realize that the gear you’re donating will make the beer taste better, the hugs feel better and the smiles a bit brighter. So, RSVP for the party now and we look forward to seeing you!

And, since this is a blog dedicated to our adventures with our amazing daughter, here’s a few from the last couple of months:

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I know she’s getting bigger (I carry her car seat), but things like this put her development in perspective.

Next stop is sitting up and then crawling. And them child proofing. Heh…

Happy birthday to my incredibly hot wife

I just want to say happy birthday to Kelci. The best mom. The best wife. My best friend.

OK, I don’t want to just say happy birthday. But today is her 30th birthday and I thought I’d embarrass the both of us with a little note to here on the blog.

Kelci and I have been together nearly 10 years after meeting in Hawaii during our first year of college (that’s a story for another post, but ask me and I’ll tell you). Over the last decade, we have traveled a path that has taken us through losing jobs, losing close relatives, gaining new friends, gaining a new home and now gaining our wonderful daughter.

One thing that I can count on in my life, however, is Kelci. She is there for me when I need a shoulder or when I simply need her on my shoulder. She is there for me when I am being a hyperactive ADD wild-child. She is there for me when I look down at Kylah and then give Kelci a “what the hell do I do now?” look.

There’s no point to this other than to share how extremely thankful I am to have her in my life.

As her and I have gotten older (I am definitely not maturing, so I don’t thing aging is the right word), I have become more and more thankful that I have her in my life. She has helped shape me and helped me become who I am.

When we were dating and getting more and more serious, we started to describe our relationship as a walk down an unknown path. For the most part, it is an easy, flat and straight walk that is surrounded by beauty. On occasion there is a bend in the road, or the scenery isn’t quite as gorgeous as you hoped. Our path has had curves, hills and a few trees that have fallen across it.

But we have continued to navigate it. We have guided each other down this path. We are a perfect team. And that’s why I want everybody to say with me:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELCI!!!