When you wake up, you’ll be two

Kylah,

Ever since we found out about you, our lives have been better. You’ve taught us lessons. You’ve made us laugh. You’ve made us cry. And we love you more and more every day for this.

When you wake up today, you’ll be two. Two years since you changed our lives. Two years since we first got to look into those beautiful eyes. Two years since we held you close to us with no intention of letting you get too far. Two years since we made a promise to do only right for you.

And as you continue to grow and become your own person, we couldn’t be more happy with who you are becoming and who you can be. You are smart, kind-hearted and more amazing than we could have ever hoped for.

When you wake up in the morning, you’ll be two. You’ll have more adventures in potty training and running and jumping and laughing and time outs (yeah, even our precious little snow flake gets in trouble…).

Happy birthday to our amazing daughter and thank you for making our lives better.

We love you,

Mommy and Daddy

The seven year itch

Kelci,

Today marks seven years since I had the good fortune to say “I do.” This has been a year of tremendous ups and downs and at the end of it, I am a stronger and better person because of you and because of your partnership. We are working on raising the most amazing child the world has ever seen and I don’t want anyone else as my partner in that.

Sunshine in Cabo sure was nice.

I love you.

So, in social media guru fashion, here’s seven reasons why I’m so lucky:

  1. You’ve gotten past (to my face) the myriad of odd behaviors I exhibit in public. Yes, yelling obscenities at items on the grocery store shelf is totally acceptable.
  2. You know the difference between good beer and bad beer.
  3. You give me the strength and encouragement (and ass kickings) to make myself a better person and a better father. You teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed and help teach me things like how to put berets in. Seriously, hair care should be a prenatal class for dads about to have a daughter.
  4. You know the difference between a 9mm and a .380 caliber.
  5. Your inability to cook. It’s adorable beyond words and it helps me feel like I’m contributing to our home when I get to put a good mean on the table.
  6. The way you tell me nothing I’ve ever put on matches or coordinates well. Ever.
  7. Kylah.

I really couldn’t be the person I am without you in my life and I appreciate you more and love you more than ever. Thank you for scratching the seven-year itch and being the best wife ever (no bias, it’s scientific proof and an objective perspective. Seriously, don’t go to Wikipedia, it’ll just say Kelci).

Waiting for the toast

I just finished watching “The Other F Word,” a fabulous documentary about punk rockers who are now fathers. It’s an amazing example of how there’s a good person inside us all.

Punks get a bad wrap for not giving a shit. And, generally, that was pretty much true. I grew up in the 90s southern California punk scene listening to Pennywise, Lagwagon, NoFX and othe bands that make the circle pit blow up. But seeing guys like Fat Mike from NoFX talking about how to instill the values of respectful individuality was an eye-opening experience for me.

Like a lot of those guys, I come from a challenging family dynamic and one of the things that intimidated me the most about having a kid was not what kind of father I was going to be, it how I could help Kylah be the best person she can be..

Watching this movie made me realize that just being present and genuinely caring is all that matters. She wants to be a cowboy? Buy a horse. Want to be a ballerina? Daddy’ll be en pointe right with you. Being a parent is not what you tell your kids to do.

Being a parent is helping your kids be what they want to be and do what they want to do. And sometimes all you can do is wait for the toast to be done so you can bring it to her in bed (watch the movie, it’ll make sense).

Helping them achieve victories large and small is all that matters. The look on Kylah’s face when she does something like jump with both feet finally getting off the gro und is all I need to keep by her side as she finds herself and becomes her own individual.

In the epic words of Pennywise:
I say fuck authority
Silent majority
Raised by the system
Now it’s time to rise against them

Being a punk rock dad, with tattoos and a fun-loving attitude is going to suit me just fine. I want my daughter to grow up knowing that there’s no mold for her. She can go out and do what she feels is right.

So long as I agree ;)

Ups and downs

Ever since I found out that Kelci was pregnant with Kylah, Father’s Day has had a different meaning. It’s made the day a heck of a lot easier, but today is still a day that weighs pretty heavily on my heart and mind. Fortunately, I got to spend the entire day with Kylah this year. We capped the night off with a little picnic at the park.

I’m so thankful that she is in my life and gives me something to dsmile about each and every day, regardless of whatever other negative nonsense has gone on. It’s amazing the power of a hug around the neck from a toddler.

There’s so much to share over these last few months and hopefully we’ll be better about sharing her updates here. For now, here’s some photos from our Father’s Day outing in the park.
At the park

Father's day visit to the park

Took Kylah to the park for Father's Day.

At the park

At the park

At the park

At the park

Disciplining a toddler

Kylah reared back and with a swift flick of the wrist slapped me across the face.

Kylah disappeared around the corner to the laundry room and when I found her, she had nearly emptied the dog’s food into his water.

Kylah shook her head and hit the spoon out of Kelci’s hand, flying spaghetti allover the place.

Yeah, having a toddler is amazing. But it can also be frustrating and trying and challenging. So what do you do about a young toddler that doesn’t quite get “traditional” discipline? That has been our latest challenge and learning to manage those frustrating moments has been a hard lesson for all of us.

Stern and consistent

The hitting is the most serious of the offenses right now. I bristle when she flails her sippy cup toward the dog and it’s hard to watch her take a swipe at Kelci. We’ve read a lot of different opinions about how to manage what appears to be a common phase that toddlers go through.

Neither of us are in a hurry to start hitting back and she’s simply to young to fully understand the implications of a raised voice or a harsh yell. And forget folding your arms and delivering a stern look. Our little sponge quickly mirrored that causing me to laugh hysterically.

Our method of choice depends on the offense. For hitting, we grab her hands, tell her no thank you and then instruct her to be gentle and showing her what a gentle touch is. Stern voice, but not yelling and careful to not cause harm to her. Consistently reminding her what is OK and what is not.

For other infractions we have chosen to distract rather than punish. A timeout or other scolding wouldn’t work for our little busybody. Redirecting her and telling her what she was doing is not OK seems to be the best we can do. Her trips to the dog bowls have definitely decreased.

As she grows, our strategy will shift. Our methods will change and we’ll all learn how to be happy and not in trouble. But the best advice we can give and the best advice we have been given is be consistent.

And to show you we’re not mean parents, here’s some shots of our little trouble maker…